Contrary to the idea that burnout is primarily the result of overworking and not getting a decent amount of rest, which is of course valid, I think you all know that sometimes we can do something tirelessly for hours and hours on end, if not for days and weeks, while riding a state of flow, simply because we are truly passionate about something and see it as one of the best expressions of our values.
I tended to live through 60+ to 70-hour workweeks, excluding traffic hours, for years. In the very beginning, I was genuinely charged up by the idea of growing professionally and financially, while also proving my intellectual worth, especially as a new immigrant. Eventually, though, I burnt myself close to a crisp. Thrice.
Two of those burnouts happened within the first 6 years after my move to the US. A ton of paperwork I had to compile and process, long waiting periods related to my immigration journey, as well as other challenges in my personal life, undoubtedly added to my plate. And frankly, I also partially used work as an escape from all of that mentally and emotionally.
Until I overworked myself to the point where I could barely get out of bed 10 minutes before my first 9 a.m. meeting (luckily with cameras off 😅) while working remotely, or had to scramble myself out of bed at 6:30 for a 1.5- to 2-hour drive through insane Atlanta traffic to the fancy downtown office, with a wave of nausea coming from the very idea of dragging myself through another stressful workday while juggling two or three tech roles.
I am a super persistent and perseverant person, but there is always a tipping point when I say to myself, and to others, “Enough is enough,” and take charge of a mission of my own salvation.
However, as I mentioned before in my blog, at a certain point in my life I also started looking toward coaching as a way to support the paradigm shifts I was going through by excavating the reasons why I kept repeating the same patterns, what needed to be done, and, first and foremost, who and what I needed to become to get back to my true self, the one who cherishes the idea of living her life in alignment with her values.
And because people tend to live so much on autopilot, they sometimes need a way to measure the quality of their lives, not from a materialistic or financial standpoint, but through fulfilment, meaning, contentment, emotions, and, if you will, purpose, all of which are connected to our needs and values.
That’s where, during one of my coaching sessions, as part of my commitment to gaining insights and learning more about myself, I came up with the idea of taking on the task of building a gauge that would allow me to observe and recognize what a certain period of my life looks like through the filter of my values and anti-values. And as I tend to, I also overachieved my goal by adding a pinch of wisdom and mindfulness to the metaphorical compass. As you’ll see, I was very much in my doodly state when I took on that creative task. Please ignore the position of the compass handle. 🙄 I couldn’t get AI to place it properly on the scale without screwing everything else up during the image re-rendering. 😉
Well, I won’t share my actual final result, as it is probably too personal for public viewing. I will, however, attach a pretty close sample so you can get the idea.
One important thing to mention: for better results, every significant event, project, action, or ongoing relationship should be evaluated against these lists. A single situation, aspect of life, or relationship may touch upon several items at once, from either column.
If a situation reinforces a value, or multiple values, from the list, you shade the corresponding number of cells in the Values Matrix. And, respectively, if a situation reflects the manifestation of an anti-value, or several anti-values, you shade the corresponding cells in the Anti-Values Matrix.
The matrices can, of course, be extended to accommodate a larger number of lived values or anti-values, depending on how many situations you want to examine.
Over time, the picture that emerges can become surprisingly revealing.
You may start noticing that something which looks perfectly fine from the outside has been consistently moving you away from the life you actually want to live. Or that something you have been tolerating for a long time keeps showing up on the anti-values side of the picture.
And perhaps that is one of the more useful things about having a tool like this. Sometimes we know what matters to us intellectually, but seeing how our actual choices and experiences line up with those values is a very different exercise.
If you feel like you would like a blank version of my LIFE VALUES COMPASS to print out and use for your quarterly, semiannual, or annual check-ins, reach out to me via the Contact section and I’ll DM you a link to the FREE file.
And I’d also genuinely love to hear from you: how often have you had to deal with emotional burnout or a depressive state when you found yourself living against your values, or repeatedly sabotaging yourself when it came to doing what was actually right for you?
💛
#holisticcoach #professionalcoach #lifecoach